


Family Planning

by Missy



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Found Family, Multi, Parenthood, Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Shirley face repercussions for helping Laverne, Squiggy's mom arrives, and the girls cope with a new guest.The latest chapter of Aftershocks-verse.  Click the collection for more stories!
Relationships: Chuck/Squendelyn Squiggman, Laverne DeFazio/Lenny Kosnowski, Laverne DeFazio/Lenny Kosnowski/Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman, Laverne DeFazio/Shirley Feeney, Shirley Feeney/Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman
Comments: 15
Kudos: 3
Collections: Aftershocks-Verse





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amythis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amythis/gifts).



Shirley Feeney let out a protracted sigh of relief as the iron bars separating her from the outside world swung open. She’d only been in jail for twenty-four hours, but it had felt like a lifetime, and she already knew she never wanted to go back there again.

“The plaintiff has declined to press charges,” the matron informed her as she collected her belongings. “He believed it would look bad to the navy, apparently.” Shirley had refused to explain the assault to the authorities out of loyalty to Laverne, and the situation, she knew, looked awful from the outside. It had resulted in her arrest, and in Laverne and Lenny going home early to rescue Debbie from Frank and little Chuckie.

There was a nod and a sigh. “Will I have to appear in court?” 

“The charges were not criminal in nature, and have been dropped, so no. Pay off your fine and all will be well. Your friend is waiting for you outside.” The bored, bland manner of the woman dictating her future set Shirley on edge, but she managed a smile as she gathered her purse.

Shirley wasn’t sure which ‘friend’ would be waiting for her. Laverne had tried to bail her out first thing but when that hadn’t worked had gone home to watch over Debbie. It might be Lenny, sent in either by Laverne or his own conscious, but Lenny was bad under pressure and was more likely to be crying than trying to help her out in this dire moment of need. When Shirley made the walk through the prison’s gates with her possessions in her hand and a dime weighing her down, therefore, she wasn’t surprised to see Squiggy standing there by the ice cream truck.

“Please tell me you’re not here for a conjugal visit with some other woman.” Shirley said flatly, remembering the millions of times Lenny and Squiggy had plied their wiles upon various inmates over the last decade.

He snorted contemptuously, one foot up against the bumper of the ice cream truck. He looked for all the world like the kind of boy her mother had always warned her about dating. “You know I’m here for you. ‘Sides, Louise in 603 ain’t returning my calls no more.”

Shirley grinned in spite of herself. Squiggy knew how to cheer her out of any emotional hole she seemed to fall into. And he understood too well that she was struggling – with her feelings for Laverne, which were scary and brand-new, with her divorce from Walter, and with her position in Laurel Vista, which was a big old question mark, even with her settling into the comparative quiet of Carmine’s upstairs apartment. 

“Before you start asking, Lenny and Laverne have your spawn. All three of us were watching over her last night, after they wouldn’t let you out.” Squiggy’s eyes were on the road, and she noted that his driving had improved slightly since the last time she’d allowed him to take her anywhere.

“Thank you, Andrew.” She really did mean that thank you. He was being inordinately kind, especially considering the circumstances of their awkward three-way date, where they had barely had the chance to speak to each other. 

“Least I could do after I fucked up by not saving Laverne.” She saw a flash of self-recrimination in his eyes, but he did not give in to emotion as Lenny would have.

Shirley frowned at both his salty language and self-castigation. “That wasn’t your fault.”

“She’s my..whatever she is. Lover. Chick who licks my balls every other Friday. Y’know – a friend. I shoulda been helping her, instead of taking a call from my lousy mother.”

“How is Eva doing?” asked Shirley.

“I don’t know. She was busy complaining about Squen planning the wedding without her being involved,” said Squiggy. “Said something about showing up, but I ain’t told Squen that part. Mama ain’t as close to Squen as she is with me, so every time they’re around one another she gets the ol’ case of the monkey nerves.”

“Ah,” Shirley said. She and Squiggy did have that much in common, though she’d never had quite a conflict with Barb Feeney like Squiggy had had with his abusive mother. Mama was a trial, but she’d never locked her daughter in a closet. “When is she flying in?”

“Tomorrow.” Shirley winced out of sympathy. “Even worse, she’s going on your couch.”

“What?” Shirley gawped at him.

“Whaddya mean, what? We don’t got no couch at our place!” 

“I…what about Laverne?”

He looked evasive. “That’s something you gotta talk out with her,” he said.

Shirley’s stomach twisted. “What on earth do you mean?” she asked. But then they were at the front door, and Squiggy was helping her out and with her purse. How oddly like a gentleman he was behaving. She thought again of their kiss and realized how little had been solved by it. “Yes, you have one hand in my best friend’s…grip, and one in my cookie jar!”

Squiggy snorted. “You almost creamed your granny panties when I stuck my tongue in your mouth last week, woman.”

She wacked him with her purse before turning toward the front door and opening it quickly. She didn’t want to think about how true the statement was –and that she’d enjoyed herself with him, and might enjoy herself more fully with him in the future. She liked Squiggy and liked Laverne, and had no idea how those feelings coincided with the woman she planned on being.

As the door opened, the sight before her made her stomach collide with her knees. For it was not Laverne watching over her daughter in the quiet arbor of her apartment. 

“Dimples,” said Lillian-nee-Barb Feeney, holding her granddaughter to her bosom and skewering Shirley with a horribly knowing look, one that turned Shirley back into a child and one she’d put firmly back in its own place when she left her mother’s nest for a home with Laverne. “What on earth has been going on in this household?”


	2. Chapter 2

“Mama!” Shirley piped out, and Squiggy could read the panic in her tone. Normally he was the one causing the panic, so he had no idea how to react to it when someone else was freaking Shirley out. He shut down in emotional confusion to a degree, watched the melodrama play out before him like a bad rip-off of Peyton Place. “What are you doing here?” Shirley asked.

“I was asked to come here by your husband. Remember, Walter? The fella you’re divorcing, apparently?” said Barb, a note of poison in her voice. “He wanted to talk about Debbie’s visitation and no one’s been able to get through to you here for the last forty-eight hours. He sent me a Western Union message and I drove right down. Fortunately, Laverne had the key and let me in.”

Shirley had turned ashen, then an interesting shade of red. Squiggy worried that she was going to pass out and smack her head against the door. “Why didn’t you call? I would’ve had dinner ready.” Shirley grated her fingers through her short hair and looked around the apartment – neat as a pin and sweet-smelling – with a look that Squiggy recognized as self-directed disdain. He had no idea why, he thought the place looked nice, if smaller than Laverne’s apartment. Then again he hadn't tried to vodeo-do-do in this place yet...

“I would have, but you never called ME with your new number.” Barb said. She cooed at little Debbie, who yowled at her jouncing. Barb frowned. “What’s the matter, baby girl? Do you have a doodie in your didy?”

“Your kid’s shitting puppets, Shirl?” Squiggy asked.

“Give her here, mama,” Shirley ordered, ignoring him. Squiggy thought to himself that he wouldn’t trust Shirley with the puppet in the kid’s diaper, let alone her whole daughter. Her hands were shaking when she took Debbie in her grip.

“Oh, nonsense,” Barb insisted. “You sit down and let me worry about Debbie. We’ll have pizza.” Her eyes finally landed on Squiggy. “Even if that means feeding the whole neighborhood,” she said.

He stood up a little taller. “That an invitation? All right, I’ll stay. And so I shall dine on…crust!” observed Squiggy.

“Squiggly, where’s your other half?” asked Barb.

As if on cue, Lenny appeared in the doorway in his vest and bell bottoms, his long hair combed. The sight of him made Debbie squeal and bounce in Barb’s grip, reaching out for Lenny.

“Lemme hold her,” Lenny said. Barb eyeballed Lenny with concern, but handed her granddaughter over when she lurched toward Lenny’s hands. Lenny grinned and took Debbie and let her settle into his grip. The baby cooed and happily settled down in his arms, and he rocked her back and forth as he headed to the couch and sat down.

Barb flew to her daughter’s side. “Shirley,” she hissed, “why is your daughter so attached to Iggly?”

“’Cause she’s got good taste,” Squiggy said firmly. Lenny raised an eyebrow at Squiggy’s coming to his defense, but focused all of his attention on little Debbie.

“We don’t know what it is,” Lenny confessed. “For some reason she just likes me a lot.”

“Yes, well,” Barb said. “I suppose all children love clowns.”

Lenny glared at the woman, while Shirley let out a disapproving, “Mama! Lenny’s been very nice. He’s been watching Debbie while I've been working.”

“You’ve been letting him watch her instead of hiring a baby sitter? Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve wired you the money.”

“That’s just why I didn’t call, Mama. I want to stand on my own two feet.”

“Well, this is an emergency situation! I’m sorry, Iggly…”

“My name’s Lenny,” he growled. “Call me by my right name, I’m practically family!”

Barb paled slightly at that notion. “Dimples, did you leave Walter for Iggly?”

“No!” Shirley said sharply. She eyeballed Squiggy. “I didn’t leave him for Squiggy either! Walter and I didn’t really know one another before we got married, and that’s why we’ve separated.”

“No one’s seeing Shirley, Mrs. Feeney,” said Lenny. “I’m seeing…” Laverne froze on the doorstop in her Ajax uniform, a guilty look crossing her face. He pointed at Laverne. “That girl!”

“Laverne,” Shirley hissed through her teeth.

“Call her Marlo,” said Squiggy, earning him a glare from every person in the room. 

“I know, I know, gimmie a break here,” Laverne said, apparently apologizing for letting Lilian Feeney into her daughter’s apartment unannounced. “Mrs. Feeney – I’ll pay for dinner tonight,” Laverne said. 

“Swell, any time I ain’t paying is a treat,” Squiggy said.

“I’ve got even better news,” Laverne said – and he could tell from her grim tone it was anything but a positive thing. “Squig, your mom’s in town – and she’s in your apartment.”


	3. Chapter 3

Squiggy arrived at his own apartment to the sound of his sister and his mother fighting. He smiled. “Ahh. Just like the ringing screams of my childhood,” he said. Then he opened the door to his apartment.

Squen looked ready to get very drunk, and his mother was speechifying loudly about how Chuck had better be keeping her in proper style. Then her dark eyes landed on Squiggy’s face. 

“Andrew! Close the door, you reprobate.”

“Ey. You got fuckin’ fat!” he observed.

“Your hair’s falling out,” she retorted.

“Battleaxe!”

“Hoodlum!” Then her face broke out into a big, joyful grin. “SON!”

“Mommy!”

They embraced, and Squen got up to dig around in the fridge for some cold beer.

*** 

Laverne and Lenny reached her apartment and closed the door with a heavy, relief-filled sigh. 

“Okay, we’re full of pizza. Shirley and Debbie are in bed and Barb’s up there with her. Squig’s gonna bed down with his mom tonight. Do you want to stay here?”

Lenny locked the door behind them. “Yeah. Want me on the couch?”

“Len, you’ve been in my bed before.” And her kitchen table, and shower, and several counters. And a table. Laverne smiled at the memory and abruptly realized they hadn’t had much alone time together. They hadn’t really had sex together, either.

“Sure?” he asked.

She nodded, sat down beside him. She snuggled up and was kissed, and kissed back, and fell into his embrace.

“I love you,” he mouthed against her lips. “Darling…love…sweetness…” 

Laverne sighed and wrapped her arms around Lenny’s neck. Was she ready to actually do it with him alone, no Squiggy present, in her quiet apartment? 

When Lenny kissed her, she decided the answer was ‘yes.’


End file.
